My Dave Kopay Story

 I was raised in the arch-conservative Florida panhandle near the Alabama border in the late 1950s and 1960s. In those days, and especially in that location, being gay was the same as being a sexual deviant. In fact, the word “gay” still was commonly used to mean happy-go-lucky. “Queer” was the popular derogatory term used Read more about My Dave Kopay Story[…]

“I really like you, but I’m in love with your brother!” (1976-79)

1976-1979—I moved to NYC for a position in a bank training program in October 1976 and almost immediately befriended another trainee: Bob was a Princeton grad, captain of his football team and a tight end who’d been drafted by the NFL’s New England Patriots.  He was smart, muscular, handsome, and charming, a combination that drew Read more about <i>“I really like you, but I’m in love with your brother!” (1976-79)</i>[…]

Learning to Be Gay (1979)

                      1979 Miserable in my bureaucratic NYC banking job in 1979 and with no gay life to speak of, I scrimped to save a few thousand dollars,  negotiated my departure from my firm, sublet my Manhattan apartment, and took off for California in my little Toyota Celica. In retrospect, I had to leave NYC to Read more about Learning to Be Gay (1979)[…]

NYC Gay Pride 1978 and the Queen of the Discos

JUNE 1978—The cracks in my closet appeared slowly. By 1978, I was out with my family and my college fraternity brothers, but I had no local gay friends. I was intimidated by NYC’s gay scene, ensconced in an intense training program at a conservative bank, and madly infatuated with my best friend and colleague there, Read more about NYC Gay Pride 1978 and the Queen of the Discos[…]

All American and Gay (1976-78)

1976—I hated my first job. I was spending long hours in a rigorous bank training program in Manhattan and, besides infrequent and random pick-ups in gay bars, I had little social life except with a few college fraternity brothers and their girlfriends and my fellow trainees.  Frustrated with my situation, I decided one day to place Read more about All American and Gay (1976-78)[…]

Rediscovering New York (1979)

October 1979—Shortly after I returned to Manhattan from my cross-country road trip spent trying to find my “gay self.”, Bo, the guy I had been seeing in San Diego, and three of his friends (two of whom I’d also slept with) came to NYC for the Mr. Blueboy Contest (Blueboy was a Playgirl-like magazine with Read more about Rediscovering New York (1979)[…]

“No Queens! No Queens!” (1963ish)

NO QUEENS—My first boyfriend, Jim Fragale, was turning 40 and I was 27. It was 1979. He’d moved to NYC from West Virginia in 1963 at 24. When we began dating, I couldn’t believe he’d lived in NYC for such a long time. I remember saying to him “I hope I’m not still here after Read more about “No Queens! No Queens!” (1963ish)[…]